Dear…
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hope all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
As I put my closing thoughts to prayer before sharing this latest journey, our good Lord brought me to this verse that is all about love, and in my heart, best describe most mothers and for me, my mother..
My mum by the grace of God, close to two decades back, at the onset of her sunset years, let go of her fears, and accepted the saving grace offered to all by the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ.
She was at age 87, just gone home to be with our Lord, to a better place.
With the funeral just over, It is often in times like this that we tend to sit back and take time to reflect upon relationships and reminisce about endearing moments of the past, that often, we give fleeting attention to, as the present demands of our world takes away our attention. And when we are still, as we seek solace in the presence of God, we will also sense with greater clarity, the love of God as well as His guiding hands, even as He uses every circumstance to refine us closer into Christ-likeness.
So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them.
Genesis 1:27
Mum was born in Xiamen, from a wealthy family and came to the safer shores of Singapore when she was just two, with her large family of 12 siblings, to escape from the civil war in China.
By her early teens, the family wealth was gone, greatly diminished by the profligate ways of some of her siblings. Married to my dad in her late teens, she went on to produce a brood of 6 of us, save for the first born who died at birth.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.
And the two shall become one flesh, so then they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.
Mark 10:7-9
Throughout her life, my mum has been a faithful spouse and a loving mother. Rare are the moments she expressed anger with us, and even rarer does she correct any errant behavior on our part.
So why did God take home such a wonderful woman?
It is I believe our good Father in Heaven knows my long suffering mum deserves to rest in His bosom for much as she, like all of us was imperfect, she epitomized what God is, love.
And I also believe our good Father in Heaven is answering our prayers. That all of us be transformed into His likeness. A task that my mum as a finite human being had given her level best, but only God can bring it to completion.
But Jesus looked at them and said, With men it is impossible, but not with God, for with God all things are possible
Mark 10:27
And may the recent events narrated below of my mum’s going home sendoff truly be the thoughts that God wants all of us in her family to be aware of and respond to. And that HE will also speak to you as you reflect upon the journey that you and your family have been on all these years.
God Blesses
Eng Hieang
(3rd July 2019)
An afterthought : My mum’s going home sendoff (27th June to 30th June 2019)
Sad as it is, whenever a close relationship ends because our loved ones leave the temporal world. There is the inevitable pain from the cherished memories, yet no void in our lives. Because we are assured that mum is with our Lord, for our good Lord has spent close to two decades preparing her, an illiterate but loving mother whose baptism ceremony with her fellow seniors in Church, brought great joy to all of us to be able to witness what once seemed impossible.
My mum was generally healthy till the last 3 years of her life. And we thank our good Lord for His grace.
Even in her last 3 years of gradual deterioration from aging, it was with some physical suffering, but thankfully not at the point of being unbearable.
And we were blessed by
- The many loving caregivers from the hospital including our God given home caregiver, who loved my mum as her own.
. - When my mum took her last breath, there was very little struggle, which we believe that
she was at peace, knowing that God will take care of her much loved family.
And that she sees Christ waiting for her, as her spirit left her bodily shell.
- And it is with gladness that it was my dad, her lifelong partner for the past 60 years plus of marriage who was the one who saw her leave.
- The very smooth 4 days as we organize her going home party, where the funeral service representative did a wonderful job with brotherly love. And for the care and concern of the pastors and congregation from my parents’ church.
- For the many friends and relatives who made the effort to be with us at our time of bereavement and the well wishers of others who could not. But more importantly, for them to see the most lovely countenance of a deceased that I truly believe few of us have ever seen.
- For the lovely green pigeon, a color that I have never seen before that decided to hangout in my mum’s wake. Pigeon represents love and sacrifice, how great is God to assure and remind us of my mum’s self sacrifice love for the family these past decades.
- And at the crematorium, where my younger sister encouraged all of us to send my mum with joy, by facing away from the final act of cremation, and instead, sang as a family, Amazing Grace, with joy, assurance and as a testimony to many of our relatives attending who are not believers.
- And at the collection of ash, where if not for God’s grace in ensuring that my brother in law, despite a sudden fever the night before, could join us in the ash collection. In my inexperience, I would have taken the ashes back without realizing that the place to place it in an urn was in the same place instead of in Church
- For the availability of a good niche for my parents at the Church where they attend where my dad could pop by to spend time with my mum after Church
- For showing us the areas of further surrender that God wants to work in us. I believe an assurance that He has given my mum so that she truly left in peace without any struggle.
My mum is a mild mannered loving mother who unequivocally loves us. Yet like all of us, she is imperfect. God knows that she had done her best, and it was time that she took a well deserved rest. But God knows her concerns and I believe that He had assured her that what she cannot do, God will do for her. Hence my mum truly left in peace as seen in the quick surrender of her spirit, and the lovely countenance on her face, for she truly was the most serene and pretty departed I have seen.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24
In my mum’s lifetime, God send me a wonderful wife who could correct me where my mum could not bear to. I am a much better person because of my wife, much as my Cantonese also improved from all her loving and very necessary corrections.
With my mum leaving for a well deserved rest in Heaven, God has used her very departure to prayerfully awaken us her children that it is time to acknowledge and be willing to let Him make right what has stopped us from being the complete children of our
Father in Heaven, My mother loves us, but being also the imperfect human, she could not do what our Father in Heaven Who loves us even more, could and will do. For my mum is a steward, God is our Divine Father.
If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.
Matthew 18:15
While I might never be able to be like my mother who could love us to the point of ignoring our deficiencies and hoping that we will somehow become better.
I know I do have a large part of her traits. A trait that has served me well in life, yet has held me back from being the person God wants me to be, and in the process, unintentionally allowing those who are on the wrong path to continue instead of correcting them with the truth, with love.
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity
Colossians 3:14
In allowing my mum to finally be at peace, God is also using her departure to shine on areas that He wants to correct and free us from. This is why I must respond, and prayerfully all my siblings will, for to do so, is to allow God our loving father, to bring to a completion the labor of love that mum has tirelessly and lovingly in her own imperfections, done for us.
But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.
Matthew 17:21
God Blesses
Eng Hieang
3rd July 2019
